Mid-week thinking 1

So in the last month, my day-to-day has changed a little, so that I can have a wednesday free to do as I please. I had the idea this may look like doing some volunteering, perhaps help out where I could or begin to do some things that made me feel like me.

I've been lucky in the past, having the freedom to shape my days, but unsurprisingly, as soon as this priviledge was not an option, I began to lose perspective a little.  

When  I look back on things that I used to do, it makes me feel a little sad that I no longer have that, although glad that I can have a mini-version on this mid-week day.

So far, I have gardened, cleaned and painted....and how lovely that has been, but the day feels so precious that sometimes I find myself sitting worrying about using it carefully.

While I am tired of the days and weeks going past so quickly, at the same time I am wishing by the days in work to get to the days I am not in work. This continous loop, or well worn groove, is distracting my attention from the detail...diverting my thoughts from focusing on the moments. I am aware of it, but feel unable to step out of it.

With the sun starting to make itself known more and things that appeared dead starting to grow buds...with time slowing a little mid-week...perhaps this is where I need to make fewer plans and see the little things.